Helpful Advice

The Five Lies of Motherhood

Dec 10 2012

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Within the past fifty years, motherhood has gone from exaltation to embarrassment. Instead of being proud to claim motherhood as a career, we cower in the corner and mumble out a feeble, "I'm JUST a mom!" Just a mom? Give me a break! This entire mentality wasn't even present in our culture until recently. The media is a powerful force! It can discredit motherhood with its lies and we just gulp them up like hot doughnuts. So, what lies are you living?


Lie #1--You need to take a load off. Have you heard this lie lately? It's subversive because there is so much truth in it that is being distorted. We see it in magazines, commercials, talk shows...moms are being stretched so thin, trying to do everything under the sun. Sooner or later, there is going to be a straw that breaks the camel's back. Before it's too late, mama, you had better take a load OFF! Well, here's the truth in it. Yes! We often do too much, but think for a second about what we're doing. What is eating up so much of your time that you can't do the really important stuff like raise your kids? How many television shows are you watching during a week? How often do you try to beat someone's high score on a Facebook game? How long do you spend talking on the phone? When today's culture tells us to take a load off, they mean to drop the kids off somewhere and take time for YOU. I'm ready to tell you that you need to take a load off where it really matters. Find those pointless time wasters that are pulling you away from the family and drop those from your life!

Lie #2--Your job is temporary. I know you've heard this one. It's the lie that our culture tells us over and over. Motherhood is just a little thingee to do for now. So, take a deep breath. You won't be stuck in this trench forever. It's the lie that gives you a temporal perspective on the whole family thing. Without even realizing it we begin to focus on relief from our circumstances rather than glorifying in our responsibilities. We begin to believe the lie and think that life will be good ‘..when the little ones finally get in preschool,..when the summer is over and the kids are back in school, ..when the teenagers are finally out of the house,..' Do you see the danger here? Our culture has us believing that we need to look forward to a day when we finally get our days back! I'm ready to tell you that your job is eternal! The moments you are investing in your family today will build up in time to reward you in ways you could never imagine. THIS is your life and you need to enjoy it NOW. If not here, where? If not now, when?

Lie #3--You could do a lot better. We see this lie everywhere in the media. It's that twenty-something picture-perfect model with the little kids that seems to have it all together. It's that stunning actress posing with her family. It's the business mogul that manages to balance family and a burgeoning business. This is a lie! You cannot serve two masters. One will have your heart and the other gets the leftovers. Our culture has taught us that motherhood is failure...it's only for those women who didn't really get a decent education or can't hold a good job. It's for women who aren't creative or don't have any drive. This is a subtle message but one that certainly has rocked our ships way off course. The lie tells us, "C'mon, mom, really? Couldn't you do any better than that? Where's the glory in motherhood?" I'm here to tell you that the glory is inside of you. It's how you look at the world. When you look at the world through earthly eyes, you see it all extrinsically. Everything is outside. It's the kind of car you drive or the house you live in. It's your career title or your circle of friends. But when you look at the world through heavenly eyes, you begin to see it all intrinsically. Everything is inside. It's the contentment when you hold your baby or the pride when you see your teen succeed. It's the love that grips your heart and won't let go. And believe you, me, you cannot do any better than that!

Lie #4--You need fulfillment. Every message that the media delivers to moms is filtered through the "not enough" lie. This is an awesome tactic by the media because it works so well. You can sell anything if you create a need for it. And unfortunately, moms are buying into the lie that we don't have enough. We need it easier. We need it cheaper. We need it quicker. We need it now! If our culture can convince moms that they need fulfillment, then they have created a huge population of eager shoppers. There's only one problem here. If things make life easier, then why does it seem to be harder than ever? If things make life cheaper, then why is the average family drowning in debt? If things make life quicker, then why can't we get enough done in an average day? I'm ready to tell you that fulfillment doesn't come from without. It comes from within. Until you find fulfillment in your life where you are right now, you'll never find fulfillment where you’re headed in the future.


Lie #5--You don't need to take it so seriously. Our modern culture feeds us this lie that motherhood and homemaking is just something you do on the side. And we are now seeing firsthand the results of this belief--broken homes, disparate families, failing marriages, and rebellious kids. And at the heart of it all is a mom who thought she didn't need to take it so seriously. I mean, it's not like it's a real career or something. Well, they're right about that. It's not just a career. It's a calling. When God called you to be a mom, He wasn't kidding around. I'm ready to tell you this is NOT a job to be taken lightly. This is a career that requires every bit of you and more. It is something you do with your whole heart. Stop believing the lies that our culture feeds us. See through the methods our media uses to discredit motherhood. Do it now before you waste another moment living with less than the best. The world keeps telling moms to do just enough to get by. But God sets a higher standard. He demands excellence. Motherhood is an eternal investment. You may not be able to see it now, but when you give it your all, when you approach this profession with the respect it deserves, when you stand up tall and profess loudly, "Yes! I AM a mom!" then, and only then, will you see the blessings of this consecrated career unfold before you.

Now, it's your turn. What do you think? Has our culture been handing us lies? Are you believing any of them? I want to hear from you!

Talk About It!

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says

Wow this is powerful and wonderful! Thanks for this so much! Yes I have heard many of the lies over the years, and must admit I have bought into a few. The advertising with the perfect Hollywood moms in bikinis 4 weeks after giving birth have made me feel inadequate for sure! Not to mention all the products geared toward moms who doubt themselves, those companies should be ashamed! I have been told by people that in a few years I will have a better life when the kids are all out of diapers. I have been told that really I am done with my 18 year old now. which cracks me up, are they nuts? She will still be my baby when she is 45! The worst is I have been asked by more than one person if we were going to put our disabled son in a home once he turns 18 to give ourselves a break! What!? No way, he is living with us for as long as we can give him the best life, and when we are too old all of his bros and sissys are going to take care of him, he is our son, not someone who is visiting! Boy you got me worked up now and I loved this, thanks again, we have the best most important jobs in the world and we should be super proud, you are so right and Thank God for our precious kids, we are all so blessed.

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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KatieJ says

I love this! So true, and even though I whole-heartedly believe it, sometimes I catch myself getting caught up by the lies. I should just read this every morning or something :) I'm linking to it from my blog!

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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Mommy4Him says

It's kind of funny to think that we were just talking about this in our church class on Sunday. We spoke about not being "JUST a mom" but being a "YES I'm a mom." We spoke about the book called "I"m a mother" and everything you say is ABSOLUTELY true. Even when my mom asks me what I do and I say I'm a mom she looks at me expecting me to say more, which I find it sad because I am so happy with this calling in life. Everything I do everything I have done is to prepare myself so I can be the best mom that I can be. I have a little girl and we're planning atleast a couple more and of course it's tough but if you think about it when you look back and see the things that you remember the most are the things that were the hardest to accomplish. They were the things that you took that much longer to do. They were the things that you put much more time and effort in. So the way I see it I'll always enjoy being a mom because it is tough and when I look back, even to yesterday I can say i'll remember it and I was there "I did it" and here's to many more days, even the difficult ones!!

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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bluzharplady says

Hannah, you are always right on. I appreciated your posting this article, because I've heard those lies for a long time myself, but never could subscribe to them. I always felt a little guilty for even considering they might be right and that I might be doing it wrong! Now I know why: it was my Mama Instinct telling me that motherhood is a privilege, not an obstacle to overcome. Personally, I think in some ways, becoming a mother was the smartest thing I've ever done. It took the focus off myself and put it on others--and not just within my family. It changed and widened my perspective on just about everything. It gave me more tolerance for some things and a zero-tolerance for others. I stopped looking in the mirror (hey, who has time?) worrying about my figure and enjoyed eating ice cream more with the kids (Much more fun!)

We're moms forever. (Hold on, I'm letting my mind get around that...) True, there are times when I say to my husband, "Hey, I didn't sign up for THIS one!" when something often out of the ordinary happens. A mom can't possibly foresee everything before the kids attempt another crazy stunt. But there's never a dull moment.

Yes, there are endless messes to clean up. Yes, there are many times when personalities clash. Yes, a mama's work is never done! But I'd never trade my brood for anything in the world. The very few times I've gotten away (twice, for one day each, in 8 years!) all I could do was think about my little ones and count the hours until I was home. Call me masochistic, but I'd rather be in the trenches than at the spa! I'd take a hug and a sticky kiss over a massage (or whatever they are trying to convince us that we need) anytime!

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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Hannah says

I LOVE you wonderful women sooooo much! Some of these comments brought tears to my eyes. Motherhood is such an honor! I remember once when I was in NY for a talk show appearance and one of the producers asked, "Don't you just love getting away? Even if it's only for one day?" My jaw dropped! "No way!" I told her. "Home is where my strength is. It's where my family is. My heart is there. Being away is like holding my breath. I count the minutes until I'm back where I belong." She looked at me like I had just stepped off the mother ship! Some get it; some don't.

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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Hannah says

Kelly, you don't need luck. You're better than that. You've got drive, determination, and the breath of God going before you.

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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centralhubmom says

Central Hub Mom-
I think you hit it on the money! I used to think people who got married & had kids, and stayed home lacked any ambition for anything else in life. That is until I got married, and had kids, and stay home to raise them. I couldn't imagine letting someone else take care of them & instilling their valus & beliefs instead of mine. And NO ONE really tells you how HARD it really is. This is the hardest job I have ever had, really. Even with all the emotional ups and downs, it is by FAR the MOST REWARDING. And I know it will pay off big time if I've done my job well!

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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phennyhen says

Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It's always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I'm sure you had fun writing this article. אימון כלבים

06/12/2011 at 02:26 am
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Pennington34Chelsea says

Some time ago, I needed to buy a good car for my firm but I did not earn enough cash and couldn't order something. Thank heaven my father adviced to get the business loans from reliable bank. Hence, I acted so and was happy with my collateral loan.

07/27/2011 at 07:17 am
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KatieRichard says

If you want to buy real estate, you will have to receive the business loans. Furthermore, my sister all the time takes a bank loan, which occurs to be really fast.

08/08/2011 at 12:15 pm
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OliveSIMPSON23 says

People deserve wealthy life and mortgage loans or student loan can make it much better. Just because people's freedom relies on money.

08/08/2011 at 07:35 pm
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