Is your marriage staler than a Moon Pie at the discount bakery outlet? I hear you, Mama. If you're staring at that man scratching his bee-hind and flipping through the TV stations and longing for your knight in shining armor, then you better think again.
That IS your knight in shining armour. It's just up to you to shine up his armor and put him back on his horse. You can do it, Mama, and here's how:
1. Do a system overhaul.
Quit living the same old story, day in and day out. Sure, he may mutter something unintelligible when you suggest a date night. And it that's the case, you need to take matters in your own hands. Be the change and quit waiting for him to make a move. Set up a date night and do something crazy and fresh. Yes, it's more work for you, but it will pay off big time. You may even want to kidnap him and take him to a local drive-in for a milkshake and stick in a DVD you made of your favorite songs. Little touches like these go far. And even if they backfire the first time or two, don't stop!
2. Speak what you want, not what you got.
If you've been doing some bellyachin' about your man, then it's time to zip it. C'mon, let's be honest about things. You may have every good reason in the world to complain, but if we lived by the standards of the world, then you may as well just pack his bags and kick him out. Live above the world's standards and go for a marriage that is rock solid and sizzling! Instead of griping, speak the words that you want. What is the reality you want? What is the marriage you are praying for and believing for? Speak it into existence! Instead of saying, "Do you think you could get off your butt and do some work around here?" Try this: "You are such a blessing to me. Just the little things you do to help me out around here are awesome and I'm so grateful for you!" Speak what you are believing for. This is your new reality!
3. Go above and beyond.
A marriage is never a place for "good enough." Leave "good enough" for the housework or the car maintenance. But as far as marriage maintenance is concerned, go for the gold standard. If you usually greet him with a kiss, make sure it lasts twice as long. If you usually mutter "good morning," whisper it in his ear instead and then tackle him in bed. If you're packing his lunch, stick a love note in there. Don't settle for enough, go for the gusto!
4. Find his needs and fill them.
Everyone has needs. Your husband has plenty of them and in his own way he is trying to fill them. Help him along in the process. For example, everyone has a need to feel significant. If he has a hobby that makes him feel important, don't deny him this outlet. Instead, maybe you can join with him. Does he like to work on cars? Instead of complaining about the time he spends in the garage, go out there and join him. See if you can help out. Don't complain about the hubcaps he bought. Get a pine tree air freshener for him (okay, maybe you can skip that last one). The point is, understand the origin of his need and give him the room and the encouragement to fill it in healthy, uplifting ways.
5. Give it 90 days of pure love.
In the back of your mind, you may be saying, "Yeah, right, Hannah. You don't know my man." You're right. I don't know your man, but I do know people. And people will respond to love. It can work miracles. Your knight is there. You just have to fight for him. Be willing to put yourself on the line. Fill every bit of his life with your love. Give, give, give, and give some more. For the next 90 days, focus on filling him up with more love than you ever thought you were capable of. And when you think you've given everything, dig down deep and give some more. Just 90 days. Try it and see what kind of miracle unfolds before you.